Conflicts and How to Resolve Them.

Little snippets of wisdom from Pastor K.

S and S

I watched one of Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo’s videos (Founder of Love, Dating and Marriage) recently and the amount of wisdom he was dispensing was so vital I wiped my jotter out.

I kept jotting down and before I knew it I had quite a lot.

Then then thought to myself why keep this wealth of wisdom with me? Why not share it?

So here are the things I learnt from him.

Conflict would come regardless of how well you manage your relationships so learn to know how to manage situations in advance.

You need to embrace the reality of such situations. There is a difference between conflicts and quarrels. Quarrels led to fights and insults thrown around by each partner.

Is it possible to live without conflicts? No.

Conflicts happen because of differences in gender, personalities, background, characters etc.

People will always see things differently so there will also be conflicts.

God created a structure to help guide order in the home. The man has the majority of the responsibilities, not a supreme being but a leader.

Men are work-oriented, and women are family-oriented.

Women are vocal and they want to express it. Women talk for affection. Men talk for information.

If it is important, women’s brains are active and versatile, men on the other hand think only of one thing.

Women think fast, men think slower but deeper. Men need time to think about issues. So give them time.

Change how you see issues. Don’t personalise issues, ladies.

Talkers are attracted to listeners and vis-a-vis. Spenders marry savers, outgoing marry introverts etc

You must be flexible when entering a marriage. Your way is not the only way.

1. Awareness- be aware of why he/she does what they did. Women are first emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical. Men are first physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. To get a woman ready, you need to meet her needs emotionally. You must learn each other’s needs. Train yourself to know what they are fighting for. Women have a spiritual need.
2. Accept the need- Women's minds work on details. Men are wired for vision. You need to adjust
3. Appreciate- Look for the good side in each other's behaviour. No matter how bad someone is, they have their good sides.
4. Adjust for the person. This is self-explanatory.
5. Alternate between each other, and you will rub off on each other. Remember to listen to what each other is saying. Men learn not to debate and reassure her that she is important.